The Principles of Circling Wizardry - The Awkward Leadership School

To practice Circling, we start with the intention of getting more in touch with

1) the Truth of what’s really here (ie. insight), and

2) our experience of Togetherness (ie. awareness of connection).

(Note: Togetherness does not necessarily mean harmonious interactions. It is simply the experience of being very aware of the quality of relationship with one another, and can include a variety of relational dynamics.)

This is our goal: to experience both Truth and Togetherness in perfect balance, neither one at the expense of the other.

(continued below)

Favouring only Truth, we may discover plenty, but the conversation will probably feel like psychoanalysis or interrogation and lead to emotional closure, ironically putting a limit how much can be discovered.

Favouring only Togetherness, we may have a nice experience, but the connection will probably feel hollow as we miss opportunities to really know each other and talk about what’s really happening, ironically putting a limit on how close we can feel to one another.

With this intention towards more Truth and Togetherness, we begin a Circling conversation based in eleven principles, each one meant to deepen our experience of Truth and/or Togetherness.

The inner ring in the diagram forms the non-verbal foundation of the practice. The middle ring represents the details of interaction. The outer ring finishes with elements of masterful facilitation.

Here’s are the principles (in the order in which they are taught), starting from the inner ring.

Principle	How to Practice
	First-Tier Principles (Orange): Embodiment
Embodied Presence	Root your attention into this moment through your sensations and senses.
Relatedness	Bring awareness to your relationship with the other(s), through attention on connection, I-thou relating, and being permeable to others.
Radical Acceptance	Welcome everything—as it is—in yourself and others, including any desire for change
Surrender	Relax out of striving, pushing, or holding-on to achieve something or get somewhere.
	Second-Tier Principles (Yellow): Engagement
Perceptual Humility	Notice where you’re making assumptions or assertions, and allow the possibility that you are mistaken.
Ownership	Acknowledge and accept as yours those things you bring to a situation that affect what you experience, say, and do (e.g. your feelings, thoughts, motivations, vantage point, agency, parts, etc.)
Shared Reality	Speak what’s occurring in the other, yourself, and context, so that we’re all on the same page about what’s happening
Transparency	Share what’s alive that has your attention within you.
Active Empathy	Take on others’ perspectives, inhabiting their world(s)—feeling it deeply with them—while maintaining your sense of self.
	Third-Tier Principles (Green): Leadership
Context Awareness	Sense and track what’s happening, how it’s happening, and why.
Natural Guidance	Trust and follow where you’re naturally drawn

These principles are both practices to attend to and capacities that get built through consistent practice.

Do not expect yourself to achieve and maintain each principle fully and constantly without fail; that is not possible.

Instead, like breathing, come towards each principle (the in-breath), knowing you will inevitably be pulled away (the out-breath).

Similar to meditating on a point of focus, the practice of Circling is to keep returning to each of the principles, trusting that working these muscles over time strengthens your capacity for each.

Learn about how we can work together.