The Art of Being Real: “mini” Intensive

 

 

Next intensive:  TBA,

Registration deadline:  TBA 

 

 

 

thecooperreview.com/people-pleasers-guide-pleasing-people/

 

 

 

Hey! Want to skip the details? Here are the need-to-knows:

 

 

TL/DR:
(More details below… obviously 😉)

 

 


When:  TBA
, from 11am to 3:30pm EST
(Convert to your time-zone.)

Registration Deadline: TBA, EOD

Who for:  anyone who tends to hide their true feelings to maintain harmony, avoid impacting others, or not be rejected. Limit: 6 participants.

What:  practice connecting inward, sharing what you normally hold back, and discover what gets in the way of that for you. 

Why:  increase confidence to show up more authentically with others, deepen your connection with / impact on them, and feel better in the process.

How much:  150  /  Early 🦜 = 110 until TBA. (Details under ‘Cost’.)

Questions? / How to apply:  use contact form below.

 

 

 

 

 

This half-day small-group intensive is for those who often feel like they’re hiding or having to perform with people.

 

This program is about learning to bring the real you forward with people, in a way that’s both empowering and connecting. This means starting to break free from the stories and “shoulds” that hold you back, and finding new comfort and ease in how you relate with people.

 

 

 

“It has given me inner permission to be more direct and more awareness of the places where I avoid that. I personally felt safe to experiment with ways of showing up that are usually challenging for me. Yum, that was awesome! More, please  : ) “
Ksenia Belash, Bodymind Healing Guide
(read full testimonial and others below)

 

 

I believe it’s what we hold back from people, sometimes without realizing, that keeps us out of real connection with one another and with ourselves too. The more we hold in our feelings, stories, wants, and needs, the more these things consume us and make us more stressed, more isolated, less impactful, and less available to our personal and work relationships.

 

(Note:  I’m not suggesting you share everything with everyone. 1. Being real goes beyond words and 2. self-disclosure is not always helpful or appropriate. I’m saying that being more aware of what you hold back—and knowing that you can share it—frees you up to be more present with others, regardless of what you do or don’t say.)

 

Perhaps you feel pressure to show up in a certain way and be the person or practitioner you think people want or need you to be. Under that pressure, it’s not unlikely you feel at least a bit self-conscious, anxious, embarrassed, alone, limited, phony, or otherwise awkward around people.

 

So learning to be more real can be both incredibly important and personally liberating. But it’s faaaaar from easy. A few reasons why it’s hard:

    • It’s inherently vulnerable to reveal our true selves to people because they can judge and reject us.

    • We may have outdated ideas or rules about what’s allowed, wanted, or helpful in a particular situation.

    • (For the helpers and facilitators, it can be hard to know if and when disclosing our experience with or of our clients is appropriate, so we may keep our lips sealed to avoid even the slightest risk of causing harm.)

    • Add to all that: we’re often completely unaware of certain parts of our experience that we don’t even know we’re holding back, but are impacting people regardless.

 

Doing this well requires courage, self-awareness, a degree of skill, and a shit-tonne of practice. That’s where this intensive comes in.

 

I will help you

      1. practice taking risks sharing your inner experience so you can build the courage and resilience to do it more, should you choose, in your life and work

      2. see your relational “blind spots”—the fears, stories, ‘shoulds’, coping behaviours, etc. that get in the way of you speaking up or making real contact with people.

      3. feel more “right with yourself” by normalizing, validating, and reality-checking your experience, and

      4. stay better connected to yourself when you’re with others so you can bring more of you, and your gifts, to every interaction 
 
 

While I think anyone can benefit, this work can be especially helpful for chronic people pleasers—those who tend to hide their true feelings to maintain harmony and avoid hurting or upsetting others.

 

 

“It was so valuable to practice bringing myself forward with whatever was happening for me, as well as sitting with and observing the discomfort of feeling missed or impacting someone in a particular way. I didn’t expect to gain so much awareness of my reactions.”
Svetlana, Registered Psychotherapist
(read full testimonial and others below)

 

 

 

“Being real” vs. being a jerk

 

You may think “being real” is just code for being a prick. I imagine you’ve been stung more than once by people who were “just being honest”. In my opinion, true authenticity is not about vomiting your opinions onto people. That’s not what we’re here to do.

 

There are two key things that separate authentic expression from this type of radical “honesty” we’re more familiar with. In authentic expression, I’m:

      1. speaking with ownership. In a nutshell, this means acknowledging my part in things and the filters I see through. (I’ll offer guidance on this in the workshop.)

      2. doing it in connection. This means I’m considering the impact that my words may have on you.

 

That doesn’t mean I hold back to protect your feelings. Impacting people is unavoidable; it’s how we deal with that that matters.

 

What it does mean is I share my honest truth, but I stay open to learning how that affects you, and willing to repair if needed.

 

Put another way, it’s about speaking with you, not at you.

 

What to Expect

 

In this half-day “mini” intensive, I’ll take you through a series of interactive group exercises designed to help you:

      1. practice sharing some of the feelings, thoughts, desires, etc. you normally keep inside,

      2. become more aware of what holds you back from doing so, and

      3. better understand how you impact and are perceived by others.

 

Between rounds of practice, we’ll also take time to “debrief” together so we can better learn from it.

 

After the workshop, past participants have reported:

      • Increased confidence in opening up to others and being vulnerable

      • Increased self-awareness of habitual patterns, unchecked stories, and other things that take them out of connection

      • Ability to slow down and notice what’s happening for them in the moment

      • Permission to be more themselves with others

 

(Check out the testimonials at the bottom to read it in their own words.)

 

 

“I so appreciated the space Josh created and the way he facilitates. He provided so much safety in the container and held the space in such a way that I felt safe and immediate trust and ability to drop in to my experience right away.”
Vanessa Allard, Somatic Therapist & Coach
(read full testimonial and others below)

 
 
 
 
 

This might be for you if:

    • you’re ready to take an honest and vulnerable look at yourself and some of your core insecurities, and are willing to experience the discomfort that comes with that.

    • you have good self-awareness and the vocabulary to identify  the emotions you’re feeling (more or less).

    • you learn well in a group environment, where everyone is committed, in it together, and “for” one another, and some of the learning happens through watching others

    • doing this scares you a little… and yet you’re drawn in, maybe even a bit excited
 
 
 
This might NOT be for you if:
 
    • you are not up for the discomfort and vulnerability of sharing some of your truth and hearing how that impacts people. While many people find doing this with me feels fairly safe, that doesn’t mean it’s comfortable. I doubt you’ll get much out of it if you’re not taking risks.
    • your emotional vocabulary is limited to “good”, “bad”, “fine”, “okay”, and [shrugs shoulders] 🤷.  (Study this if you want to improve.)
    • you tend to get extremely overwhelmed, spaced out, or destabilized in groups, or otherwise struggle with intense traumatic stress. Most of us experience these to some degree, and they are not inherently bad. But if it’s so intense that you would feel completely “out of control” or lose the ability to keep coming back to the present moment, then this is probably not going to be a helpful container for you. (You may want to consider 1on1 Relational Coaching instead.)

    • you’re uncomfortable with profanity. I like to swear sometimes, goddammit! 😉
 
 
 
 
 
When:
 
The mini intensive will be 4.5 hours long,
 
(including breaks**)
 
and held on [date TBA],
 
from  11 am to 3:30 pm  Eastern
 
 
 
 
**There will be a 20-min “meal” break, plus two 5-min “bio” breaks, as needed. Break times are not set in advance.
 
 
 
 
Where:
 
We will meet live online
 
via Zoom video conferencing.
 
 
 
 
 
Cost:
 
  Early Bird:    110
( if applied for and paid by TBA EOD )
 
 
Full Price:    150
( if paid after )
 

 

 

( Currency: US dollars if you live in US, UK, or EU.  Everyone else pays Canadian. )

 
 
 
 
Additional Perks:
 
    • the session will be recorded and shared—privately to participants only, and taken down after one month—so you can easily review if you’d like

    • a discounted relational-coaching session if you book within a week of the event:  100 dollars for a 75-min session (normally 150 for a single).

 
 

There are only six spots available to ensure everyone gets enough attention and support.

  •  

     

    “THAT was bomb dot com. Seriously really good program and Josh did an awesome job with the facilitation. It was valuable for me to practice opening up to others and feeling vulnerable. I think this program gave me a nice nudge of confidence!”
    Dana Ellis, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
    (read full testimonial and others below)

     

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Next Steps

 

Any questions? Feel free to reach out using the form below. And if you’re ready to apply, send me a message and I’ll send you the application form shortly. Then, if everything looks good, we’ll arrange payment to secure your spot. The registration deadline is Thu Sep 22, by end of day.

 

 

(  more testimonials below  )

 


.

Testimonials

 

“THAT was bomb dot com. Seriously really good program and Josh did an awesome job with the facilitation. I really really liked the sequence of exercises; I felt like there was a sort of gradual increase in complexity to them while still maintaining safety and a sort of organization of the group. It was valuable for me to practice opening up to others and feeling vulnerable. I think this program gave me a nice nudge of confidence! I am really glad I got to be a part of it!”
Dana Ellis, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

 

“Before signing up, I anticipated I’d be ‘squeezed out’ by people much more free to be themselves and able to express themselves readily, and that I’d slide into silence and reluctance. Fortunately, the initial exercises were a good practice and build-up to the rest of the workshop. They helped me find my voice and with that I spoke more easily for the remaining of the evening.

The main exercise was a great practice for me. It gave me the opportunity to stand in my experience regardless of the risk that the person in the middle was understanding something a bit different (about them) than what I meant. It was so valuable to practice bringing myself forward with whatever was happening for me, as well as sitting with and observing the discomfort of feeling missed or impacting someone in a particular way. I didn’t expect to gain so much awareness of my reactions.

Since the workshop, I have been observing myself more and slowing down to notice what’s happening in my body and the story behind my reactions. I really appreciate the opportunity to do this practice and have greater self-awareness.”
Svetlana, Registered Psychotherapist

 

“I loved it. I so appreciated the space Josh created and the way he facilitates. He provided so much safety in the container and held the space in such a way that I felt safe and immediate trust and ability to drop in to my experience right away.

The most valuable part for me was creating an intention to speak my truth and then having opportunities to be courageous and work with some of my edges. I got to practice being seen and staying connected with myself while being with others. I got to explore my growth edges around speaking my truth in a group.

I came away with more awareness around what it is that is taking me out of presence and connection, and more ability to then either speak to that thing or do something to bring me more into connection and presence. Or make a conscious choice to not move into connection. That has felt important.

This is an experience where you can learn more about how to be in connection. It will shine a flashlight in some of your relational blindspots so you can learn more about what you are doing relationally and have an opportunity to challenge your programing and build courage to do something different and face some relational fears.

Thank you, Josh! So appreciate you and the work you’re doing :)”
Vanessa Allard, Somatic Therapist & Coach

 

“Great programme! I have already recommended it to a couple of my friends. It has given me inner permission to be more direct and more awareness of the places where I avoid that. I really enjoyed the clarity of the structure and Josh’s holding of the space. It felt very welcoming of the whole range of experiences and levels, and I personally felt safe to experiment with ways of showing up that are usually challenging for me. I appreciated Josh’s authenticity and how he brings together ease, spontaneity and spaciousness alongside clarity, structure and intentionality. Yum, that was awesome! More, please  : ) “
Ksenia Belash, Bodymind Healing Guide